Thunder and Lightning: A Christmas Tale

In this storm so mighty, a blanket of white,
that I cannot see my hand in front of me,
comes to mind a story of a great Christmas night.
Old Man Winter, please stir my memory.
Give me the strength to retell the lost tale
of the heroes who saved our holiday eve;
as I sit here frozen as cold as my beer
and speak of ale, aliens, and reindeer.

In the North Pole where it is Christmas year-round,
live and work those who make the day merry:
elves in the workshop, snowmen on the ground,
reindeer who train till it comes time to carry.
A place where magic and spirit is found,
where all is joyful, and nothing is scary.
On the special eve when it all takes place
the last-minute touches are finished in haste.

Two of the reindeer had a plan in mind;
mischief and mayhem were on deck that night.
Dunder was the biggest one of his kind.
Blixem the quickest and first to a fight.
They both had a knack for getting into binds,
but none could compete with their combined might.
They worked hard every year pulling Santa’s sleigh
and went just as hard when it came time to play.

These famous members of the sleigh-pulling team
cut out early while everyone ran about,
to the Tavern Hall to gain some preflight steam.
There was eggnog, cocoa, and peppermint stouts,
so many choices; it looked like a dream.
There was not a sip the two would leave without;
so they settled in and began to drink
and continued till they could no longer think.

They played reindeer games the hall was a riot;
in each competition, they came out on top.
To every suggestion, they said, “Let’s try it.”
They sang and danced and had too much fun to stop.
Blixem said, “Just one more round, and I’ll buy it.”
Dunder said, “Okay, but I’m ready to pop.”
They finished their ales and paid-up their tab.
They said their goodbyes; the whole hall was sad.

Dunder stepped outside in the cold winter night.
He looked to the snowflakes falling from the sky
and said, “This storm will make the big trip a fright,
but with Rudolph in lead, the old sleigh will fly.”
Blixem stood beside him and took in the sight,
he spotted the outline of the sleigh up high.
They panicked as they did a double-take,
had they missed the one flight they needed to make?

Ahead of the sleigh, they could see the red light
of Rudolph leading the team through the snow.
The sleigh silhouette rose into the night.
What they should do next? The pair did not know.
They took a step back and staggered to the right,
then with a running start, they took off with a “whoa.”
They struggled like leaves cast into the wind;
Blixem was even sent into a spin.

They began to regret the last drink they had
and were in no condition to catch the sleigh,
but if they missed this night, Santa would be mad.
They watched helplessly as the sleigh pulled away;
not far behind Santa’s big magic bag
came a large glowing disc whose color was gray.
A door opened up and out came a green beam;
its light shone on Santa, the sleigh and the team.

Dunder and Blixem knew what must be done.
They pushed, flying as they never had before.
“No matter what, Santa has to make his run,”
shouted Dunder with a determined roar.
Blixem flew ahead and yelled back, “C’mon.”
The beam was pulling the sleigh towards the door.
With a great push, Dunder knocked aside the sled,
so the beam began to pull him up instead.

Blixem could not leave his best friend behind.
He glanced at the sleigh as it pulled away,
then he knew that their fates would be intertwined.
Blixem flew next to Dunder caught in the ray.
Dunder asked, “Blixem, are you out of your mind?”
He replied, “I can’t let you just save the day.”
The last thing they saw as the door closed tight
was Santa’s sleigh flying off into the night.

Inside the ship, it was scary and dark.
The reindeer began to wander around,
when a force field surrounded them in a blue arc.
Coming towards them was a tinkling sound;
Dunder rammed the field but did not leave a mark.
A creature appeared with eight legs on the ground
like a giant spider crossed with a snake.
Dunder and Blixem both began to shake.

The alien skittered around the space,
while the reindeer prepared for a final stand.
As it approached, they saw its dreadful face,
now towering over them; this creature was grand.
“I’m starting to doubt we’ll ever leave this place,”
said Blixem staring at the being’s hand.
It held an ominous, silver device
that didn’t look like it was for something nice.

Whether from fear or all the bubbly drinks,
something in Dunder’s stomach started to stir.
The force field around them began to shrink.
From within Dunder’s stomach, rose a soft purr
that turned to a belch like unclogging a sink;
a burp that explains why Dunder means “thunder.”
The alien could not stand the voluminous sound
and dropped his silver device on the ground.

It hit the floor and shattered into bits.
The force field around the reindeer disappeared.
Like lightning, Blixem charged out with a blitz.
He hit the creature and let out a cheer.
“Merry Christmas to all,” he said between hits.
“And to all a good night,” said Dunder with a sneer.
Then with a punch, Dunder knocked the creature out,
but this was no time to celebrate the bout.

The reindeer searched for a way off the craft,
they walked the corridors till they found the brig.
There they saw a sight that struck them both daft:
a furry, white beast that was more than big.
“Yeti!” they exclaimed in accord as they laughed.
As the plan came to them, they began to jig.
They would let the beast free on the ship to roam
and smash a path out to find his way home.

Dunder took a step back and smashed the door lock.
The door swung open for the yeti to run;
it turned toward the opening with a shock.
Blixem showed his face then shot off like a gun.
The yeti followed with a lumbering walk;
Dunder snuck behind to witness the fun.
Blixem led the yeti to the bridge’s door
then hid and watched from a grate in the floor.

The yeti broke the door down with a great crash
and spotted the creatures who had done him wrong.
The legendary beast bellowed, barked and bashed,
pounding on the walls and the floor like a gong.
He turned the command consoles into mash;
the creatures could see that they didn’t have long.
Dunder and Blixem watched from the doorway
The yeti performed the destruction ballet.

Alarms were going off, and lights were flashing,
as the Captain of the creatures stood tall.
Pointing toward the crew and yeti clashing
It called out and gestured toward a wall
For a brief moment, the yeti stopped thrashing.
The Captain started the escape protocol.
The wall slid open revealing the night sky;
the reindeer knew it was almost time to fly.

With one last look and a grunt toward the Captain,
the yeti dropped the crewman in his grip.
Dunder and Blixem sprang into action
and flew right out of the hole in the ship.
The yeti leaped in a similar fashion,
then the alien ship took off with a zip.
Disappearing into a cloudy sky puff,
the aliens, thankfully, had had enough.

As Dunder and Blixem happily flew
they realized the yeti was in a free fall.
They surveyed the ground and knew what to do.
The big yeti let out a fearful call.
The reindeer first ensured that their aim was true
then crashed into the large, white, furry wall,
positioning the beast over the lake below;
it’s water as clear as a brand new window.

The reindeer flew by as he climbed on the shore.
“Thank you,” said Blixem to the great beast
to which it replied with a thunderous roar.
“Merry Christmas,” called Dunder once the noise ceased.
They turned to the North Pole and began to soar.
It would take them a couple hours at least;
they were tired, but there was no time to lose
Had Santa still been successful on his cruise?

Dunder and Blixem barely made the trip
They slumped, stalled, stuttered and started to drop
Until crash-landing on the North Pole strip
“Did Santa make it?” said Dunder with a flop.
“Where’s Santa, the sleigh?” said Blixem with a yip.
“He’s perfectly fine,” said an elf named Cakepop.
The reindeers let out a sigh of relief;
then everyone heard their tale in disbelief.

The elves and reindeer helped them get inside
to start recovering from their venture.
They built a fire to warm up their hides;
they both fell fast asleep on a bench right there.
The reindeer dreamed of their last Christmas ride;
wondering if Santa would let them return
as part of the famous holiday team
that delivers presents while boys and girls dream.

Morning came, and Santa finished his run.
Christmas Eve was once again a success.
The world would awaken to joy and fun.
An elf came to Santa and explained the mess
and all that the reindeer had overcome.
“I was wondering where they were,” he professed.
He stood up and went to where the reindeers slept.
He looked at them, sleeping and nearly wept.

“Dunder and Blixem,” he said with a boom.
They jumped to attention in startled surprise;
their eyes were adjusting to the spinning room.
The reindeer knew that they had to reply.
“Yes,” they said, meekly preparing for doom.
Santa said sternly as he looked in their eyes,
“You missed takeoff and could have faced disgrace,
but without you, I’d be lost out in space.”

“In the face of danger, you both acted bravely,
and fulfilled your duty to the highest degree.
Though you may not always treat this job gravely,
what you did was special; we can all agree.
Because of you, we have all arrived save’ly,
therefore I now make this solemn decree:
From this day forward you two will defend
Christmas from any who dare to offend

Thus, Dunder and Blixem lived up to their names:
the thunder and lightning that did their best
They never received the accolades or fame,
but forever after they rose to the test.
Without them, holidays would not be the same,
and never since has a Christmas been messed,
but don’t kid yourself you can still find these two
in the grand Tavern Hall throwing back a few.


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